Hello everybody! Today my dear school friend visited us, Kate. She came to tell you some stories and share her experiences related to her time at Harvard University, social pressure and big dreams!
Hi Kate, thank you for your visit!
Hello! Nice to see you again, I am glad that you have contacted me!
Our pleasure! So maybe let’s start with a little description of your university/career path?
Of course, I went to a neighborhood middle school five minutes away from my house. Frankly, I didn’t think about choosing anything else; all my friends decided to go there, so did I. Even though the school was by no means in any top school ranking, I studied a lot and managed to get into one of the best public high schools in Krakow.
At first, my education was looking to be like any other student’s in a public school – constant exams, weekly parties and growing anxiety about the job market as a humanities student.
Then, partially looking for adventure, partially scared of not knowing what to do after high school, I took my chances and applied for a year-long scholarship program called ASSIST that placed young people from all over the world in private schools in the United States.
The year I spent in Ohio influenced my future choices like no other year. In the US, I experienced education focused on an individual’s interests and skills with personal attention from teachers; education that valued equally sciences, humanities and arts; education that supported students with facilities, equipment and grants.
It was there that I actually believed I had the tools and motivation to pursue my passions rather than choose a “safe” university major. After my return to Poland, I worked long hours preparing my university applications, wrote a multitude of essays and studied for exams, but all of it was worth it when I got into Harvard on a full ride.
Contrary to the majority of students who associate Harvard with law and business, I chose Comparative Literature and Theater, Dance and Media as my majors. Even though it’s not all moonlight and roses, with a lot of pressure we put on ourselves to find a great job and succeed as an Ivy League student does, the experience by all means worth it! College in the US is not just lectures – in my case, it’s inspirational classes, tons of good reading, art projects and interpersonal connections. If I hesitated a tiny bit choosing an art major, my fears disappeared during the pandemic. Paradoxically, and knowing I had extreme luck most people did not, it was during my forced gap year that I was able to put my skills into practice. With little experience, no diploma, but tons of enthusiasm, I moved to Warsaw and managed to find a job in a theatre. Taking a gap year made me more flexible, open, but most of all gave me the time to pause, think and process things I did not have the time for trying to speed through college. It was a time of immense growth for me, and I highly recommend it to everyone. It gave me new inspiration and helped me reevaluate my college experience, which I am now dedicated to using to its fullest.
What was your biggest dream? Who did you want to become?
My parents always told me “’You can be whoever you want to be. Just, please, don’t become an actor!”.
As you can guess, I did everything I could to become an actor.
Theatre has always fascinated me and given me the space to express myself. Aside from providing lots of inspiration, it also built my self-confidence, teaching me to speak confidently, stand tall and improvise when need be. Since middle school and all through high school I was a part of a youth acting group, but with time I became more and more interested in other aspects of theatre, such as directing or design.
Still, it was not until I got into college that I became confident I can make theater my career. My biggest discovery in college, in fact, was that there are many more jobs in the art field than I heard of. It was there that I tried for the first time publicity outreach, producing, stage managing, set designing or light designing.
The variety of roles made me believe that as long as I am flexible I can definitely be involved in theater professionally, and make money, even if not as an actress.
How do you think, how social pressure and expectations impact our life decisions? What did it look like in your case?
I think societal expectations, especially concerning what it means to have a good job or study a good university major, can be really harmful because rarely do they take into account one’s unique history and personality. All of us are different and not everyone can or should become an engineer, a lawyer or a doctor.
Still, choosing a career path that is not recognized as forward-proof or socially valuable is hard, especially without support from one’s family. I was lucky enough to have open-minded parents, who trusted I knew what I was doing getting into arts. Still, even when I got into Harvard, some people told me I was “wasting this opportunity” because I was choosing to study theatre. For some people, we will never be enough.
And how people were reacting when they heard about your dreams? How did it influence you?
My dreams about theater were sometimes misunderstood and underestimated. For a long time my family thought it was something that would pass and only after so many years of actualizing my plans did they support it.
The general attitude towards actors and theater makers sometimes made me doubt this path. Frankly, as my plan B in case I didn’t get into any of the American colleges, I planned on pursuing a degree in International Relations, which would be something my family would be proud of.
Now I know I would be absolutely miserable pushing myself to study something I never felt the passion for, only for the sake of position and money. And even though money and position are important in this society, I know my mental health would not allow me to enjoy them if I chose something against myself.
And even though no one can live on passion alone, the last couple of years showed me that no matter what society and my grandma told me, it is very unlikely I will starve on the street. As long as you’re flexible and learn fast, you will live decently.
What was your motivation and strength source?
There’s nothing more that I hate than older people discouraging young people from pursuing their goals. I wanted to prove to people who told me I couldn’t do it that they were wrong.
One of my teachers in the American high school told me I have too big of a financial need (i.e. I am too poor) to get into American colleges and I would have to be an outstanding candidate to get in. I was determined to prove to her I was an outstanding candidate.
Do you have any regrets related to your decisions? Would you do all of it once again?
One hundred percent. I wish I actually had the same motivation I had before.
What did you gain by moving out to the US?
Going to college in the US made me first of all much more independent than I was and feeling like I am much more in control of my own life. The education here is more individualized, which means it is your privilege and responsibility to choose your subjects and navigate the balance of school, social and professional life.
There is more pressure on creativity in all the projects and essays, which made me change the way I think about and approach my work. The custom of getting lots of internships and jobs while at college (and the opportunities to do so) has also prepared me better to graduate and find a job later, as I have already rewritten my CV multiple times, and took part in various job interviews and gained real-life experience.
Aside from that, moving to the US resulted in great friendships with people from all over the world, continuous support from my peers, and invaluable professional connections with scholars and professors.
Do you think that the American system, just like these in Europe, puts extra pressure, social pressure on teenagers and their life decisions?
I believe so, but I also believe that it provides more support in making these decisions. Especially the college counseling system which provides help in applying to colleges and choosing a major is something Poland could adopt.
If you could give one piece of advice to yourself in this challenging period, what would it be?
I would tell myself to not rush some things and take them slowly. You don’t have to be the best in anything, as you have all your life to improve. If you fail once, twice or many many times it does not mean nothing will ever be good again. I would also allow myself to experience things as they were and not stress over what they should be.
For a lot of my time in high school, I had very high expectations of myself and was very strict on myself if I didn’t live up to them. Now, I know it’s super important to be gentle with yourself and know that there is time for everything – for the good and for the bad.
It is amazing that you had a chance to go through all of it! Thank you for your effort and for your help!
Thank you also! I tried to do my best!
